King of My Heart

Currently, one of my favorite worship songs is King of My Heart by Sarah McMillan. The other morning, I was getting ready for the day when this song came on. While I was lost in singing along, I felt the Lord ask me "Am I the king of your heart?" I immediately thought "well of course you are!" ... but as the day went on, I couldn’t get this question out of my head… I realized that often times I say He is king of my heart and want him to be king of my heart but I don't always allow him to rule in my heart.

I have feelings and emotions that come from my heart that show me that he, in fact, is not ruling in my heart. For instance, my husband walks into the bathroom where I am getting ready for our date night and he walks right back out without saying anything. Immediately, my heart due to insecurity feeds my thoughts to think he doesn't like what I'm wearing. He hasn't attracted to me anymore. I knew this extra weight I have put on bothered him. I better start working out. And so forth... and by the time I walk out to go on our date, I have lost my excitement and maybe even my desire to go.

So after beating myself up, I walk out feeling ugly and unwanted. The truth of the moment was he just wanted to get back out to the living room to finish watching the football game. Can I say that God was the king of my heart and ruling in that moment? Or did my insecurity take precedence? Because I didn't allow God to rule in my heart in that moment, I ruined my date night with my husband because I fed myself lies and created tension that never should have been there.

I believe that sometimes we feed ourselves lies that steal from our opportunities.

So today as I worship, I am reminded that letting God be the King of my heart is not just a one-time decision but a daily decision and maybe even an in the moment decision. And by allowing him to be king of my heart, I am allowing him full access to rule. If there is a place in my heart that has started to get cobwebs and dusty and He wants to work there, well He has that authority because I have chosen to give it to him.

I truly believe one of the most loving things God did for us was give us a free will. He is not a forceful God. He is a loving, gentle, patient God. And he only wants to clean those places in our heart to bring us freedom and healing!

I don't know about you but a freshly cleaned home makes me want to do somersaults and invite everyone over to see my clean house. Now I might want to invite everyone over because my house is rarely that clean and I feel it should be acknowledged and enjoyed. Also, it might be because I am fully aware that it will be destroyed as soon as my #minicircus wakes up!  

I think the same will happen when we allow God to clean our heart! It will feel so good. We will want to tell the world about it, so they can experience the freedom and life that we have found.

Another worship song that I have been listening to along the same lines as this one is called “With Us” by Hillsong. A part of the song says “You reign in our hearts, You reign above all, Be lifted on High.” This has become my prayer that God would be King of my heart and reign in my heart! I have come to learn in all the junk going on in our world and even all that happens in my #minicircus I need Him to be King of my heart and to reign completely in order for me to make it through each and every day. So my daily and sometimes several times a day is “Lord, will you be King of my heart? Would you have full reign and rule over what comes in and goes out? Clean where needs to be cleaned. Heals what needs to be healed. Have your way in my heart. Amen”

Today, would you allow God to rule and reign in your heart? Is He King of your heart?

Give Yourself Grace

I tend to be good about giving grace to everyone but myself. This really came to life to me when just a few weeks ago, my 3-year-old, Adde was scared to try something new because she was afraid of failure. When she finally decided to try, she quickly learned that she wasn’t great at it the first time. She had to practice in order to get better. Every time she made a mistake in her efforts she would get more and more mad at herself. Then just a few minutes later, she saw her sister, Kate struggling and she immediately began to cheer her on and say, “It’s okay, Kate! Try again. You can do it!” I thought "I wonder where she learned to be so hard on herself and yet cheer those around her on” and it didn’t take me long to realize I was the teacher! The truth is, if I am going to say “Grace Rules our Home” then I have to allow Grace to rule in my life. Because if I don’t let grace rule my life then is it truly ruling our home? My kids learn to let grace rule by how I treat those around me but also how I treat myself. As I prayed about it, I felt the Lord tell me I need to give myself grace. Here are some of the areas that I am learning to give myself grace. I thought I would share with you because maybe just maybe you might need to give yourself some grace as well.

1.    Give Yourself Grace to Start.

Many times we stall out in life because of fears. We don’t allow our self the grace to just start knowing mistakes will happen. For me, writing was an area that I had stalled out. I knew I was supposed to write and even wanted to write but felt as though I had nothing to say and what if I failed or made mistakes. All my what if’s and fears kept me sitting and dreaming. I finally came to a place where I wanted to stop dreaming about a life and start living one. Which led me to start writing on this blog. Of course, I don’t get it right every time and not every blog is a home run but I am obeying what I feel God has placed in my heart and that to me is living a life that is worth living even with all the mistakes and mishaps along the way.

2.    Give Yourself Grace to Define Your Normal.

Several years ago, I was at coffee with a mentor, Christine Caine, and as we talked about life she gave me a piece of advice that I have held onto ever since. She told me, “Elaine, your normal wont look like anyone else’s.” You see I was in a season where I was trying to compare my life to those around me and constantly felt like I wasn’t meeting a standard. For example, I don’t cook. I use my crockpot a lot and make very simple meals when I do cook. Ethan and I have seasons where we travel a lot with speaking engagements and during those seasons, I was letting the enemy beat me up for not doing a better job about cooking for my family. This statement was freeing to me because it allowed me to figure out what works for us as a family and be okay with our normal. Social media can be a blessing or a curse depending on how you use it. Don’t allow yourself to fall into the trap of comparison, take some time to define your normal and give yourself grace to live in your normal. Give yourself grace to be you!

3.    Give Yourself Grace to Learn.

Sometimes we struggle to give our self grace to learn. When I became a wife, I had to give myself grace to learn how to be a wife. Even now, I am still having to give myself grace to learn how to be a wife. Same with being a mom. And just when I thought I was getting this whole mom life down, my children hit a new milestone or we find out we were pregnant again and I’m back in the learning stage. We don’t know everything or how to do everything, we will make mistakes. It’s inevitable. We need to allow our selves the grace to learn in the new seasons of life. Now in no way am I saying that we use this as an excuse to be stubborn in our ways. You wont get it right every time, so give yourself grace to learn.

4.    Give Yourself Grace to Try New Things.

Recently at the Gateway Conference, Pastor Brian Houston asked a question, “When is the last time you did something for the very first time?” Often times we get in a rut of just doing the same thing over and over, and we lose sight of things that give us life. An innovative mind breeds life in us. Let’s give our self the grace to try new things. We need to have some unpredictability in our lives. Some time to be creative. Give yourself grace to try something new. I know what your thinking, “When am I going to have time to try something new, well you wont unless you create space in your life, in your day. You might be surprised at how it energizes you and you might even find a new hobby in the process.

Life is full opportunities to compare and beat ourselves up. Let’s take a moment each day and maybe even several times a day to give ourselves some grace. Will you allow grace to rule in your life and in your home? What are some areas you need to give yourself some grace?