Currently, one of my favorite worship songs is King of My Heart by Sarah McMillan. The other morning, I was getting ready for the day when this song came on. While I was lost in singing along, I felt the Lord ask me "Am I the king of your heart?" I immediately thought "well of course you are!" ... but as the day went on, I couldn’t get this question out of my head… I realized that often times I say He is king of my heart and want him to be king of my heart but I don't always allow him to rule in my heart.

I have feelings and emotions that come from my heart that show me that he, in fact, is not ruling in my heart. For instance, my husband walks into the bathroom where I am getting ready for our date night and he walks right back out without saying anything. Immediately, my heart due to insecurity feeds my thoughts to think he doesn't like what I'm wearing. He hasn't attracted to me anymore. I knew this extra weight I have put on bothered him. I better start working out. And so forth... and by the time I walk out to go on our date, I have lost my excitement and maybe even my desire to go.

So after beating myself up, I walk out feeling ugly and unwanted. The truth of the moment was he just wanted to get back out to the living room to finish watching the football game. Can I say that God was the king of my heart and ruling in that moment? Or did my insecurity take precedence? Because I didn't allow God to rule in my heart in that moment, I ruined my date night with my husband because I fed myself lies and created tension that never should have been there.

I believe that sometimes we feed ourselves lies that steal from our opportunities.

So today as I worship, I am reminded that letting God be the King of my heart is not just a one-time decision but a daily decision and maybe even an in the moment decision. And by allowing him to be king of my heart, I am allowing him full access to rule. If there is a place in my heart that has started to get cobwebs and dusty and He wants to work there, well He has that authority because I have chosen to give it to him.

I truly believe one of the most loving things God did for us was give us a free will. He is not a forceful God. He is a loving, gentle, patient God. And he only wants to clean those places in our heart to bring us freedom and healing!

I don't know about you but a freshly cleaned home makes me want to do somersaults and invite everyone over to see my clean house. Now I might want to invite everyone over because my house is rarely that clean and I feel it should be acknowledged and enjoyed. Also, it might be because I am fully aware that it will be destroyed as soon as my #minicircus wakes up!

I think the same will happen when we allow God to clean our heart! It will feel so good. We will want to tell the world about it, so they can experience the freedom and life that we have found.

Another worship song that I have been listening to along the same lines as this one is called “With Us” by Hillsong. A part of the song says “You reign in our hearts, You reign above all, Be lifted on High.” This has become my prayer that God would be King of my heart and reign in my heart! I have come to learn in all the junk going on in our world and even all that happens in my #minicircus I need Him to be King of my heart and to reign completely in order for me to make it through each and every day. So my daily and sometimes several times a day is “Lord, will you be King of my heart? Would you have full reign and rule over what comes in and goes out? Clean where needs to be cleaned. Heals what needs to be healed. Have your way in my heart. Amen”

Today, would you allow God to rule and reign in your heart? Is He King of your heart?

It was late Friday night, Ethan was at the Gateway Young Adults Retreat and I was laying in bed thinking of how jealous I was. Jealous of Ethan for being able to go on a retreat. Jealous that he got to sleep 2 glorious nights in a room all by himself with no worries about children. (All mothers understand why I was jealous about this) Jealous of all the adult conversation, worship and God moments he would get to have on this retreat. Jealous of my girlfriends- some who were on the retreat as well, some who were able to do a girls night out and some because my perception of their life via social media was well perfect (I have since learned/ been reminded that they too have messy NORMAL lives) So as I laid in my bed, thinking of all I was missing out on and allowing my jealousy to take over my mind. I didn't even realize I was being robbed. To be honest, it wasn't until Saturday afternoon on my way to church (which was a miracle that I made it to church with all 3 kids all by myself!) that I realized I had been robbed. I was devastated! Would I ever get back what was stolen? And so sweetly the Lord whispered in my heart, "Yes honey you will!"

The truth is nothing of material worth was stolen. No, it wasn't anything physical. The truth is jealousy robbed me. Jealousy robbed me of seeing the blessings right in front of me.

Since I was a little girl my greatest desire has been to be a mommy! And here I was living my dream with my answered prayers all around me. Yet I was seeing those answered prayers as burdens, as inconveniences. When I realized what had happened on Saturday, I was devastated because the things I had prayed for and desired for so long- a loving, hard working husband, a beautiful home, lots of children all close in age were right there and I had lost sight of them as my answered prayers, my blessings!

I have talked about being intentional and I believe that we should be intentional. Intentional with our time, our money... but also with our minds and our emotions! In today's culture, with all our social media outlets, I feel it is easy for us to allow jealousy into our hearts. But do we realize that jealousy is not a friend? Jealousy doesn't come into our home to help us clean or cook. It doesn't bring flowers and cookies and come just to talk and give you a breath of fresh air. No, Jealousy comes in with every intention to steal all your valuables- and I don't mean your material valuable items, I mean your answered prayers, your greatest desires, your blessings.

So friends, have you been robbed? Have you allowed jealousy to come into your heart and turn your blessings into burdens?

Just like the Lord so gently reminded me on Saturday, we can get back what has been robbed from us. But in order to do that, we have to kick jealousy out of our hearts and our minds and invite gratitude back in. You see gratitude can not stay in the same place as jealousy. And just to let you know, God won't grant us the other desires of our hearts when we are busy lusting over others answered prayers.

In some ways, jealousy is lusting... I know we might not always think of it in that light. But when we are jealous, we are lusting over what someone else has and we want.

Nature is content with little, grace with less, but lust with nothing.

If jealousy is in your heart, you will never be content. And God works when we are content.

So, take a moment today and examine your heart... Has jealousy taken residency in your heart turning your answered prayers, your blessings into burdens? Take a moment and kick it out and then invite gratitude back in. Begin to thank God for how He has provided for you and has answered your prayers! Look around at all your blessings and thank God.

Let's not allow our worlds to be robbed by jealousy. Let's enjoy our blessings, our answered prayers. And let's remember to have a heart of gratitude and thank God for all He has given us. And let's thank Him often. It will help keep jealousy away.