Give Yourself Grace

I tend to be good about giving grace to everyone but myself. This really came to life to me when just a few weeks ago, my 3-year-old, Adde was scared to try something new because she was afraid of failure. When she finally decided to try, she quickly learned that she wasn’t great at it the first time. She had to practice in order to get better. Every time she made a mistake in her efforts she would get more and more mad at herself. Then just a few minutes later, she saw her sister, Kate struggling and she immediately began to cheer her on and say, “It’s okay, Kate! Try again. You can do it!” I thought "I wonder where she learned to be so hard on herself and yet cheer those around her on” and it didn’t take me long to realize I was the teacher! The truth is, if I am going to say “Grace Rules our Home” then I have to allow Grace to rule in my life. Because if I don’t let grace rule my life then is it truly ruling our home? My kids learn to let grace rule by how I treat those around me but also how I treat myself. As I prayed about it, I felt the Lord tell me I need to give myself grace. Here are some of the areas that I am learning to give myself grace. I thought I would share with you because maybe just maybe you might need to give yourself some grace as well.

1.    Give Yourself Grace to Start.

Many times we stall out in life because of fears. We don’t allow our self the grace to just start knowing mistakes will happen. For me, writing was an area that I had stalled out. I knew I was supposed to write and even wanted to write but felt as though I had nothing to say and what if I failed or made mistakes. All my what if’s and fears kept me sitting and dreaming. I finally came to a place where I wanted to stop dreaming about a life and start living one. Which led me to start writing on this blog. Of course, I don’t get it right every time and not every blog is a home run but I am obeying what I feel God has placed in my heart and that to me is living a life that is worth living even with all the mistakes and mishaps along the way.

2.    Give Yourself Grace to Define Your Normal.

Several years ago, I was at coffee with a mentor, Christine Caine, and as we talked about life she gave me a piece of advice that I have held onto ever since. She told me, “Elaine, your normal wont look like anyone else’s.” You see I was in a season where I was trying to compare my life to those around me and constantly felt like I wasn’t meeting a standard. For example, I don’t cook. I use my crockpot a lot and make very simple meals when I do cook. Ethan and I have seasons where we travel a lot with speaking engagements and during those seasons, I was letting the enemy beat me up for not doing a better job about cooking for my family. This statement was freeing to me because it allowed me to figure out what works for us as a family and be okay with our normal. Social media can be a blessing or a curse depending on how you use it. Don’t allow yourself to fall into the trap of comparison, take some time to define your normal and give yourself grace to live in your normal. Give yourself grace to be you!

3.    Give Yourself Grace to Learn.

Sometimes we struggle to give our self grace to learn. When I became a wife, I had to give myself grace to learn how to be a wife. Even now, I am still having to give myself grace to learn how to be a wife. Same with being a mom. And just when I thought I was getting this whole mom life down, my children hit a new milestone or we find out we were pregnant again and I’m back in the learning stage. We don’t know everything or how to do everything, we will make mistakes. It’s inevitable. We need to allow our selves the grace to learn in the new seasons of life. Now in no way am I saying that we use this as an excuse to be stubborn in our ways. You wont get it right every time, so give yourself grace to learn.

4.    Give Yourself Grace to Try New Things.

Recently at the Gateway Conference, Pastor Brian Houston asked a question, “When is the last time you did something for the very first time?” Often times we get in a rut of just doing the same thing over and over, and we lose sight of things that give us life. An innovative mind breeds life in us. Let’s give our self the grace to try new things. We need to have some unpredictability in our lives. Some time to be creative. Give yourself grace to try something new. I know what your thinking, “When am I going to have time to try something new, well you wont unless you create space in your life, in your day. You might be surprised at how it energizes you and you might even find a new hobby in the process.

Life is full opportunities to compare and beat ourselves up. Let’s take a moment each day and maybe even several times a day to give ourselves some grace. Will you allow grace to rule in your life and in your home? What are some areas you need to give yourself some grace?

Stay Sane To Do List

Having 3 kids in 3 years is A LOT! But I love it! Like for real love it! Every day has its challenges and moments that seem to overwhelm me, but I have learned to laugh instead of cry, to define my new normal and know it's going to be okay! We have a motto in our home that we allow grace to rule. It seems to help in the chaos of our mini circus!

So, I compiled my keep sane to do list. I try to do these things every day to help myself stay sane and on top of things! I have found this helps me to not feel like I am being held under water.

Now you must know, these things don't happen every day- it's more like my goal to do list and when I do accomplish them, I'm doing good- like real good! I tell you that so you don't take this list and set it as a standard, my hope would be you take the list maybe for some ideas, encouragement or just to give you some "oh she does it too so it's okay" type of feelings. Or maybe, "This is her goal to do list? Man, I'm doing great then!" haha! I don't mind how you look at this list as long as you don't use it as a tool (or allow the enemy) to beat yourself up! Deal?!

Okay so here is my keep sane Daily To Do List:

1. Get ready! I take 5 or so minutes every morning to get dressed, brush my teeth, maybe put on a little makeup (lotion, BB cream, and mascara). Sometimes getting dressed means changing into a fresh pair of workout pants, even though I have no intention of working out that day! I found it helps me feel better throughout the day and seemed to help me be more productive! Just so you know- usually my kids are playing in my bathroom/closet or watching tv while I do this! So it's not like this nice peaceful moment of my morning!  

2. I read the Bible. Now by reading the Bible, it could be the verse of the day on my Bible app, or it could be pulling out my Bible and reading a few verses just depends on my day. To me, it's not about how much I can read as much as it is about filling myself up. If I'm in a season, I sometimes will search a word and read verses on something specific. For instance- grace and patience seem to be great needs for me these days so I might look up scriptures on my phone and read those! If you think you don't have time for this, I would like to challenge you to open your Bible app instead of a social media app and I think you would be surprised by how much you can read... When I was pregnant with Kate, I read the entire Bible in less than 3 months because instead of opening up a social media app I opened the word of God. I was shocked and it helped me realize, I always have enough time to read His word. I can't live without it!

3. I do a load of laundry. Once again these things don't happen every day like I would like for them to. For instance last week we had a lazy day and laundry didn't get done and I was totally okay with that. Then there are days where I am laying in bed and realize I started laundry that morning and haven't touched it since! Time to re-wash that load! Maybe tomorrow will be better. #goals

4. I load & start the dishwasher. Every night I try to start my dishwasher so I can start fresh the next day. With that, I try and do all the things that need to be hand washed as well, so the next morning my sink is empty and all dishes are clean!

5. Straighten the Living Room. We have an open living room/ kitchen layout and it's the first thing you see when you walk into our house. So every night I try and just straighten the living room so once again the next morning I wake up to a fresh start. In our home- we try and keep most of the toys upstairs in our playroom so usually, it only takes me a couple of minutes to straighten! For some odd reason, children love to play in clean spaces and leave them messy! I have learned that when we take the time to straighten our home- mainly the kitchen and living room we have a better day the next day!

Now I do need to place a few disclaimers. Like I said this does not happen every day. But I also have help! My awesome husband will help me at night (the nights he doesn't work late) straighten our house.  We have a nanny a couple hours a week who is fabulous about helping me around the house when I get behind and help me to maintain it if I'm staying on top of it all. But in the last 8 weeks, I think I can count on 1 hand how many times she has come over and my house has been clean! So there's that!

So there you have it! My daily stay sane to do list! What are some things you try and do every day to help you stay on top of things and stay sane? Would love to hear them!