After posting last week's blog, "King of my heart" I seemed to struggle because I thought that I might have talked in a way that sounds like great Christianese (you know our own Christian language where sometimes we say things that sound so easy but are actually really hard! You know like you're going through a very serious case and someone says "Just Trust the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding" and what you would like to do is punch them in the face and say something like "ya buddy! Why don't you try going through what I'm going through!" I mean maybe you don't think like that but I sometimes do! #dontjudgeme)
The truth is allowing God to be the king of our heart is really REALLY hard! It can be scary especially if we have some misconceptions of God in our heart. For instance- what if we had an earthly father who left at a crucial time in our life. Or what if we told someone our darkest dirtiest secret and they turned on us and hurt us.
So we take those experiences and expect God to leave us when He sees what's really in our hearts.
What if God wants to work on an area of our heart that really hurts and He asks us to do something that seems impossible like forgive the person that caused the pain (even if that someone is ourselves)?
What if our hurt isn't because of someone per say but what if we prayed for something and it didn't happen? Like we prayed for someone to get healed and instead we ended up having to say "see you later".
What if we cried out to God and in return, we felt silence?
Life circumstances can make it hard to fully allow God to be king of our heart. I get that. I can relate.
I have to remind myself who God is outside of my circumstances. See God's goodness is not based on how I perceive him to be good, God is good no matter my circumstances. Unfortunately, we live in a fallen world which allows for bad things to happen but those things do not change the goodness of our God.
The truth is allowing God to be "King of My Heart" is a journey. Some days it's easy and other days it's really hard.
Allowing God to have full reign will require vulnerability. It will require trust. It will require honesty- with yourself, your safe friends but most importantly with God.
So I want to say to you, I'm sorry! I'm sorry if you have had something happen to you that has caused you to walk on eggshells in the presence of God. I'm sorry if I made it sound as though what you are facing isn't hard or a big deal and it's easy to allow God to be King of your heart. I know it's not easy and although I don't know what exactly is holding you up, I know what tries to hold me up so I can relate. I want to ask you, though; will you join me in the journey of allowing him to reign in our hearts?
The truth is God is for you. He is never going to let you go. His love will never let go of you no matter what. You are His child and He is proud to call you His! He isn't ashamed of you! He will never leave you or forsake you! He wants to pull you close and hold you. He wants to heal your heart. Bring you peace, joy, love, hope, patience or whatever it is that you need. Our God is big enough to meet you right where you are.
So friend, with all christianese aside, just honest conversation, knowing that He is for us and we can trust Him with our hearts no matter the condition, I have a question to ask you...
Would you be brave, take the leap of faith and start the journey of allowing Him to be King of your heart?
Kate (19 months) & Adde (3 years old) at the Texas State Fair!